I pulled open my bedroom curtains at my house on the hill, looked towards the sea and was confronted with a strange glow in the sky. It appeared to be hovering over our neighbouring town of Hastings.
Now when I was a lad Hastings was considered to be rather inferior to Eastbourne, a bit run down, a tatty and Kiss me Quick sort of town. It didn’t have a pretty seafront and the pier was a lot shorter than ours but instead had cockles and whelks bars and shops selling candyfloss and rubber rings.
So I wondered how Hastings suddenly was able to emit a warm glow and I had to investigate.
I discovered that it has a proper hospital. This hospital can sort out most things for its residents. It can even cope with the most worrying of eventualities and if a car turns over within sight of its front doors and its driver needs minor repairs then this hospital can cope. It doesn’t need to decline and send the patient some 17 miles further away. Marvellous.
Hastings has a fully working Magistrates’ Court. Its people who may have strayed over the line can be assessed here in their own town. It is soon to be enlarged owing to the fact that Eastbourne is to lose its own and many of our residents will have to make the journey there.
Rumour has it that Eastbourne may lose its Railway Ticket Office. In fact, as a further cost saving, there is a plan afoot to shut down our railway station completely and divert all trains to Hastings. Our local residents would merely follow the ambulances along the coast road towards the glow in the sky and catch their train there. We are told by our masters that this journey is quite insignificant, even for some poor soul in pain or close to death.
Yes, Hastings really has come on leaps and bounds.
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