REV DAVID FAREY: We all need to learn to forgive each other more

David Farey SUS-160113-102615001
David Farey SUS-160113-102615001

David and Victoria Beckham have been in the news again.

David had appeared on the radio programme, Desert Island Discs and spoke about the love that he and Victoria have for each other.

He said, “We’re a strong family unit. We’ve got strong parents, we were brought up with the right values.”

They were married in 1999 and he admitted that they had made mistakes over the years and that marriage is difficult at times and that it is about working through it.

This was a tremendous thing for him to say. It may seem obvious but sometimes we all need reminding of the obvious.

As human beings we can be incredibly stupid and we do all make mistakes. It is something so important to remember. None of us are perfect.

We are all flawed in some way or other. One of the problems with modern life is that everyone and everything is expected to be perfect and the slightest little mistake is used to destroy a person and their work.

The message is that we all need to be much more forgiving of one another, and make allowances for mistakes.

Obviously some faults are worse than others and require major action, but if we learned to be more forgiving it would probably help.

Jesus said two things particularly relevant. To paraphrase, let the one without any fault be the first to condemn another. That should make us all think.

The second was how can someone with a log in their own eye take out a speck in another’s eye? Clearly an exaggeration but again it makes the point.

We should look to our own faults first before we criticise another.

How true it is in marriage. We need to learn to forgive one another and work out how to cope when things go wrong. All too often I have heard in marriage how one partner’s mistake leads to a complete breakdown and failure to forgive.

But I have also known of marriages where there has been an affair which have recovered and got back on track. It is not an easy journey but not impossible.

At Hellingly Church we have lots of weddings and we offer a day for couples to explore various aspects to marriage, such as communication and emotional understanding.

All couples in the past have said how helpful they found the day. We also give couples help as ministers in preparing for their big day. It is a recognition that in a relationship love isn’t always enough and to have a few useful pointers is not a bad thing. We should all learn to forgive one another more!