Theo Rebergen: Let’s reset society!

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Summertime, not a good time for columnists.

This is the time where I love to turn on my grumpy old mood and investigate my surroundings with very critical eyes.

My columnist hero from Holland is the ultra-controversial Youp van’t Hek, blunt as a 2000 year old Egyptian knife. The other day he reported about how today’s society has lost the plot and that the world was in total madness. In desperation he suggested: “Switch off society”.

Youp’s story describes a birthday party of a rich kid in Holland.

The dad, a multi-millionaire president of a bank had chartered a heli so his princess could show Amsterdam to her friends from the air. The chopper had to be painted pink for the occasion and the pilot had to wear a Ken (from Barbie) make-up and costume.

When the embarrassed looking captain asked the spoiled kid how old she had become, she answered that it was not her birthday but the anniversary of her favourite doll. Proudly she told that the villa garden had been decorated by an Endemol film set crew and the little gourmets were fed by a 20.000 Euro buffet served by a 3-star TV chef. Madness!

Looking around my own environment I found that even birthdays of kids with parents of a modest income, are hardly celebrated at home but in party or leisure centres.

Anyhow, the kids hardly sleep at home as they have at least 15 sleepovers a month! Lots of parents could rent out their kid’s rooms half the time.

Madness! (OK, I know, times have changed)

Sports; it’s the time of buying and selling overrated football stars.

If your club wants to win a league or a cup, they need the cash of the Russian mafia, Oil Sheiks or dodgy US Billionaires with a huge bank credit.

Cannibal-Suarez for 40 million to Arsenal or RM! Fake haired Rooney cannot leave United because nobody can afford his 250.00 a week wages.

The poor lad needs that money to keep his head covered with priceless implants; but once he has them in, he shaves them off.

At the same time there are family dads spending 50% of their family income on horrendously expensive season tickets and travels to away matches. Madness!

By the way, lately the UK sports world wonders why German football is doing so well.

Here the honorary board of Bayern Munich (owned by the fans): the president of Adidas, the chairman of Audi, the Controller of Deutsche Telecom, Bayern’s 1st president from 30 years ago, the chairman of Burda Media (Germany’s largest media company), the ex-PM of Bavaria, the chairman VW/Porsche and the president of the Munich stock exchange. Business expertise in a bundle; they don’t get paid and have no financial influence.

The club is run by former world class footballers like Ulli Hoeness (in troubles with the tax office), Karl-H Rumenigge and Frans Beckenbauer. Football expertise in a bundle. Makes sense!

UK cuts; The English treasurer needs 20 billion. Easy, bring all the boys and girls home from Afghanistan and all other places where they should not be.

Turn them into a Caribinieri or Guardia Civil type of cops and let them patrol the streets and city centers.

This would stop most of the small shop robberies and other street crime. It would easily save the 20 billion. Makes sense?

I found hundreds of examples of society madness and I should follow Youp.

However as there were a few sensible ideas, I do not switch off society but reset it and let it run by the honorary board of Bayern Munich.

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