BINGO EVENING: Today, Friay, 6.45pm for 7pm start at the Civic Centre. Eight games played for £4, plus an additional Snowball (50p per single ticket) and Flyer game (£1 a sheet). Free cup of tea/coffee at half-time break. Proceeds to Mayor of Telscombe’s charity fund.
YOGA: Every Monday from 7.15pm to 8.15pm in the Civic Centre. Contact Jane email: email@example.com phone: 07703 167895.
DANCE CLASSES: Little Stars Pre-school Dance Class for pre-school children aged 2 to 4 years, every Tuesday from 9am to 9.30am in the Civic Centre. £3.50 per session. Contact Anneli Smith on 07930 490058.
SUPPORT GROUP: Breast Cancer Support Group meeting on the first Wednesday of each month from 1pm to 3.30pm in the Civic Centre. Contact email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
YOGA: With Natalie Heath every Tuesday from 6pm to 7pm in the Civic Centre. Contact Natalie Heath email: email@example.com phone: 07738538094.
LIVING LIGHT PILATES: Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday in the Civic Centre. £6.50 per class or class pass for £44 (eight classes plus one free session). Contact Nicola Murray-Smith email: firstname.lastname@example.org phone: 07776 457752.
FITNESS PILATES: Every Monday from 9.30am to 10.30am and Thursday, 7.30pm to 8.30pm in the Civic Centre. Get fit, tone up, prevent back pain, improve flexibility and posture. Equipment provided, just bring some water. Only £6 per class or £40 for eight weeks. Contact Jennie Palmer email: email@example.com phone: 07825 702775.
RESIDENTS ASSOCIATION.: Telscombe Residents’ Association meet on the first Thursday of each month from 7.15pm to 9.15pm in the Civic Centre. Email the secretary at firstname.lastname@example.org for a copy of the meeting agenda.
FOOTNOTES: As I gently removed the large, black, furry tail draped elegantly but carelessly across the keyboard of my computer, I couldn’t help admiring the ease with which Chaplin, like all cats, can sleep soundly wherever they choose to settle. It is an ability I have never been able to emulate. My father, a veteran of WW1, used to boast how he could sleep anywhere, even in an open boat after he was torpedoed a couple of times. I, on the other hand, have always been wide awake, listening to my friends snoring soundly on aircraft, mule drawn carts, rickety buses, even on horse or mule back, when I was in the Middle and Far east. I just have never been relaxed enough to be able to sleep in those circumstances. Many a night have I watched the ceiling of a tent or the door of a dodgy hotel or guest house, even once opting to sleep on the roof rather than the room I had been allocated. But still I would lie awake, gazing at the stars above me until exhaustion overcame me and I would be rudely awakened, late for breakfast and bleary eyed. However, old age has its compensations and I now find myself dropping off at odd times of day. My daily crossword is always a soporific, as is any book that fails to keep my attention. I even woke up the other day, wondering where Andrew the man who does my gardens for me had got to, only to find that he had been at work for an hour, after failing to rouse me. I have got used to it now and discovered I have become a night owl again, often working in the early hours of the morning. So everything has its compensations. As I have been writing this, Chaplin has lazily got up, inspected my desk and then settled down again with only the merest glance at myself. He is aware that shortly I shall decamp to the garden, where the sun is blazing down on a perfect Spring day, and he can take up his place in the shade of a tree and feel the warmth of the grass on his body. As indeed shall I. Go safely, enjoy your week and the sun.