How can one woman murder so much chocolate?

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No Caption ABCDE SUS-140818-090307003
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One of the UK’s favourite comediennes Dawn French is coming to Eastbourne’s Congress Theatre on Thursday, October 9, with her new show 30 Million Minutes.

Queen of British comedy Dawn is a national treasure and this show, which marks her very first solo tour, is based on her life and career.

Packed with delights and riches, with the odd irksome tribulation thrown in, Dawn takes audiences through the various lessons life has taught her, and the things she knows for sure.

Book now because Dawn French is convinced it won’t be long before she is far too doolally to perform it.

With a sharp eye for comic detail and a wicked ear for the absurdities of life, Dawn French of Cornwall shares how she has misguidedly spent her whole life vigorously attempting to be a fully functioning female human.

Her extraordinary lack of willpower, combined with an enviable knack for nosey parking and showing off, has driven her to grapple with the big stuff of life in public.

Thirty million minutes of life in fact. That’s how long she’s been alive.

It’s also worth going along - if only to finally witness what size she actually is.

Can we believe the stolen images of so many women’s magazines? What is the truth? Is she unfeasibly large? Or does she sleep in a matchbox?

Marvel at how one woman can mercilessly murder so much chocolate, and yet remain so curiously slim…

Tickets are already selling fast, so booking is strongly advised, priced at £39.50 and £35. Call the box office on 01323 412000 or online www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk