MY FIRST reaction to reading the letter from one Malcolm Rasala (“Eastbourne is ugly...hideously ugly”) in The Herald was this was clearly a spoof which some unworldly young sub-editor had allowed to slip through the net.
I became more convinced this was the case as I continued to plough my way through one of the funniest pieces of writing I have come across in many a long year.
Mr Rasala’s hysterical grandstanding was fabulous and was centred entirely on his proclamation Eastbourne was hell on earth and should be bombed.
The town centre, seafront and pier all get severely slagged off by this guy, who managed during the course of his rant to demand to know when was the last time George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Angeline Jolie were down here as well as lamenting Eastbourne was not more like Cannes.
Even poor old Stephen Lloyd got a clobbering before Mr Rasala concluded with an unintelligible quote from an unnamed “human of vision of style from 2400 years ago”.
It all got me thinking as to my mental picture of this correspondent. Was sort of age was he? What sort of career has he had? Is he single, married or divorced?
I have no way of knowing. All I can say is he lives in Sovereign Harbour and therefore is an unlikely-to-be impoverished resident of the very town which he despises so clearly but so comically.
I am tempted to suggest an obvious remedy to this unfortunate malcontent but am hampered by the unswerving belief this was indeed a spoof and that you guys have been had.
But if I’m right and Malcolm Rasala really doesn’t exist, who wrote this marvellous letter? Garry Wilson would be my guess, bless him!
J M SOMERS