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How adoption changed one woman's life
AFTER medical problems led to her infertility Linda underwent treatment to have a child but was unsuccessful.
Years later she decided she would like to adopt and while at first her husband was slightly hesitant about the possibility, the couple soon realised it was the right choice for them.
Linda said, "I always wanted to be a parent since I was very young and always saw myself as a parent. At first my husband wasn't sure what he wanted.
"We always had my nieces coming over to stay, then my husband got in touch with a cousin he hadn't seen for a while. His children came down and they had never stayed before – they had a whole day with us and didn't want to leave."
The children spent their Christmas with Linda and her husband and Linda believes it was this episode in their lives and the fact that one of her husband's friends was looking to adopt that helped him to decide that it was also the right pathway for them.
Linda made a phone call to the adoption services which got the ball rolling.
The Seaford resident was then sent leaflets and the couple attended an induction months later and were given the chance to speak to people who had adopted themselves.
Linda said, "In our case there was never any doubt about not doing it, once we made the decision to adopt I knew we wouldn't go back."
The pair were then assessed and asked questions relating to their own childhood and their current situation and they were visited on a regular basis by social workers so they can get to know the couple.
A medical assessment was carried out and references supplied, which was followed by a written report about the couple. A panel then decides if the individual or pair are suitable and whether they can be approved.
In Linda and her husband's case they were given the green light. Despite the different stages they had to go through and a two-year wait following approval for their first child, Linda said it was worth it.
After adopting their daughter, years later the couple applied to adopt again. This time they had a shorter wait before bringing another child into their lives. Their son, like their daughter, was adopted in the first year of his life.
Once their children had stayed for a set amount of time with them Linda and her husband were then able to attend a court hearing to legally adopt each child, which is the final stage in the process.
Linda said, "Right from when we were approved it was emotional. You're elated you have been approved, then in limbo and have to wait which is difficult, then there's the elation of being matched.
"We waited so long and it's really happened. I remember picking up my daughter and putting her in the car seat and thinking 'she's ours'. It was a wonderful feeling, almost surreal.
"I never doubted that I wouldn't get a child because I'm very positive and I knew in my heart I would get a child and after we adopted our son we felt our family was complete."
Linda, who is a voluntary support worker, offering a listening ear to others who are thinking of adopting, said the whole experience is unique and that you have to be committed.
She added, "The reward is worth every minute and it has changed my life. I have to be honest, when my husband wasn't sure about adopting I said it wasn't supposed to be my pathway and I used to work many, many hours a week to fill that emptiness but I never felt complete until I had my children."
She said that she has been encouraged to keep a life book with photos and details of her children's early years and add to it.
She has also carefully broached the subject with her children that they are adopted and answered any questions they may have.
Talking of National Adoption Week Linda added, "I think it is good that it is acknowledged annually and it's publicised. It gives an awareness of the fact that there are children out there that desperately need adoptive parents and there are children that go from foster home to foster home and would love to have some permanency in their life."
For more information about adopting please visit: www.nationaladoptionweek.org.uk or www.adoption.org.uk
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Sunday 27 May 2012
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