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Eastbourne mums talk about the price of 'peer pressure' proms
EASTBOURNE families are sacrificing family holidays and nights out to pay for their children's school prom as the bill hits a whopping £500.
They're also cutting back on the weekly food bill, shopping and going without luxuries for up to six months to foot the cost of the American-style party to celebrate the end of school.
Some shocked parents are even starting to save up years before as peer-pressure drives pupils to demand designer dresses, makeovers and a limo to take them to the prom in style.
Now hard-up mums are blaming hit TV show My Sweet 16 and the launch of wedding-style Prom magazine for heaping on even more pressure to give their sons and daughters their dream – and very expensive – day.
"It's got out of hand," mum-of-two Carol Ryan, 42, of Eastbourne, said.
"My eldest daughter's only 13 but I'm putting away money each week as she's told me her prom will cost at least 2,000.
"She's seen her older friends buying designer dresses, hiring Hummers and having their hair and make-up done at home by professionals and she wants the same.
"Bron is already planning every detail and pores over magazines looking for the perfect outfit even though it's three years away."
Carol, who runs the Slimming World group at St Agnes Church in Whitley Road, added, "I had a school disco when I left school and was allowed a new pair of jeans and a lipgloss by my parents.
"Her prom is going to cost us a fortune. But how can I say no when the prom is all the girls and mums at her school talk about?
"I want my daughter to look her absolute best so we'll have to cut back and sacrifice our family holiday to pay for prom night."
Another mum is living off beans on toast to buy her 16-year-old daughter a designer dress and heels for her prom in a fortnight's time.
The woman, who is too embarrassed to be named, said, "I'd budgeted 50 for a dress but my daughter insisted on trying on one at the most exclusive boutique where everyone gets their prom dress. She fell in love with one that cost 540.
"I couldn't believe the price. It looked amazing but there was no way I could afford that. In the end she agreed to have one that cost 230.
"Then she wanted matching shoes, handbag, a tiara, her nails done, her hair put up at a top salon, and a make-up artist on the day.
"She and her friends are also having a limo, which costs more than 200. It's such a lot of money, but I can't let my daughter turn up looking like some second-class prom queen.
"So I've just stopped going out and we're eating a few more beans on toasts to pay for it all."
But proud mum Jo Sage thinks all the sacrifices are worth it even though her daughter Jazz's prom dress cost more than her wedding gown.
Designer Jo, 44, of Pevensey Bay, said, "The prices are crazy and I did a double take when I saw the price tag of the dress she wanted to try on.
"But then she came out of the changing room and I burst into tears. She looked beautiful – and it was a special moment, just how I imagined I'd feel if she was trying on a wedding dress.
"It was 369, which is more than I spent on my wedding dress, but she tried on cheaper ones and nothing matched up to that dress.'"
Jo agreed to foot half the bill if her 16-year-old daughter paid her share.
"So she got herself a summer job packing clothes in a factory and that's the only way we could afford it," she said.
On top of that the family – including Jazz's gran - paid out 70 for hair, 25 tiara, 25 shoes, 15 bag, 45 earrings and necklace, 40 towards the Hummer, 28 for new underwear making a whopping total of 617.
"We didn't have any meals out for weeks beforehand as money was tight but she wanted a day to remember and we wanted her to have a good time.
"I felt like she was a bride and I had that mother of the bride feeling watching Jazz get ready for her prom but without worrying about getting to the church on time.
"She looked beautiful – it was worth every penny."
Asda has launched a credit-crunch prom dress, which costs just 18. But as one fashion-conscious 16-year-old said, "It's the party of the year and I wouldn't be seen dead in something that wasn't designer.
"It's more than just a prom – it's the event that marks the end of the era and leaves a lasting impression.
"If all you're remembered for is that you wore nasty polyester that's social suicide."
Siobhan Freegard, co-founder of Netmums, says, "In every mum there's a prom queen desperate to get out and when it's your daughter all sense of reason goes out the window.
"You want her to be a princess for the night and it's easy to understand how you can emotionally buy into prom culture."
Naomi Abeykoon, editor of Prom magazine, agrees. "It costs so much because there is so much associated with proms that teenagers simply 'must' have.
"Proms are big business, with many wedding dress shops now expanding to cater for prom dresses.
"For some they pull in more money. I know of one shop that dedicated one entire half of its premises to prom dresses after just one year, as its prom dress sales were so successful.
"Proms now replace the end-of-year school disco and give teenagers a grown-up-style event where they're the centre of attention and leave their school years with a memory that should stay with them forever.
"Repaying the cost of their outfits will probably stay with their parents for some time, too!"
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Saturday 26 May 2012
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